It’s in this night hour that I am lonesome
as rain patters deep within my tired heart.
It’s here I find myself seeking longest
the truth now lost but once honored and loved.
My trust is gone for nothing can color
this broken and weak soul with happiness.
Your stubbornness makes me so unhappy.
This grinding work at home makes me lonely.
Your unwavering lack of care colors
me black thoroughly from within the heart.
It’s with caution I approach with my love
and chase the needs you string along.
It’s with hope I hold on longer
than I should to try to be happier.
How I wish to once again feel your love.
Instead here, trapped in bitter loneliness,
your generosity never heartfelt,
I regret how my soul has discolored.
So I sit here drinking the blue-colored
dregs that churn with worry, guilt, and longing.
Dark and terrible, anguish fills my heart,
believing you have stolen happiness.
Even while next to you I am alone,
it’s for you I still feel this love.
Driving the emotional force of love,
to find intimacy to recolor
this gray world away from my loneliness,
my pointless journey now feels too damn long.
I need to give up making you happy
and fight for the freedom of my true heart.
I summon the strength I need in my heart
to reclaim the lost compassion and love,
and strive to rebuild my own happiness.
With patience, I begin recoloring
the spirit to erase wasted longing.
I control my life, while standing alone.
Although I am lonesome, I guard my heart
and wait longer to discover real love
as I color in my prized happiness.
The Chaos Pen 